For my portfolio I chose to revise is my arguing position essay. The strengths of this essay is that it has a strong clear thesis that's focused on what I'm trying to argue about. It's also a thesis were it can be argued by other people if they disagreed with me. Another strength is that I use a lot of evidence to support my claims and my whole paper is very well organized. Its focused on the point I'm trying to make across.
Two weaknesses are that my evidence might not be efficient and it may be very weak. My statements may not be strong enough. Also my purpose might not be focused on my audience if I tend to go off topic. I might need help making my sentences stronger. Another weakness might be is that my introduction may be weak so it's going to make my paper have a bad start.
In order for me to revise my essay, I am going to make sure that everything can be backed up with strong evidence so the audience can understand why I chose to say that and can see what's behind it. When I write the body of my paper I will make sure that everything is in-order. I will make sure my audience fits my purpose and tone. As for my introduction I will start off using some evidence so it can lead to my thesis smoothly. Overall I have to stay on topic and argue my position well.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
My favorite essay that I had to write for this class was the arguing a position assignment. I enjoyed writing this essay because I got to inform people about an issue that people are still debating and dealing with. Writing is not a problem for me but when I'm assigned to write about something that requires my opinion on a topic it's the best feeling ever. It's as if I can put all my angry and opinion on how I feel about the subject. I got to explain what the law is doing is wrong. Come on a teen can get married to an adult by parent permission but if a teen dates an adult its against the law? Seriously?! Its a joke.
Although the ad analysis was going to be my first choice because I got to study what was the whole purpose behind the ad was. But then I changed my mind because the arguing a position assignment felt like it was something important for me. It was important because the issue about the the law allowing teens to get married with parent permission should be banned. A teen has their whole life in front of them to discover and marriage isn't always the best choice for them. Live life and enjoy it as your young. So I got to express my opinions on how I feel about it and it made me feel good letting it all out. It was a topic I was passionate about. Also it went great with my writing style because informing people about an issue that's not talked about much helps bring the issue to light.
P.S: Thanks for the easy blog post! :))
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Thesis: The law should not allow teens to get married to people who are 18 and older because they are considered to be minors, they have their life in front of them and if it's illegal for an adult to date a minor then why can they marry one.
- My most compelling argument is my claim that it is against the law for an 18 year old to date a person younger than them. But yet they may get married if the teen's parents agree with it. This is strong evidence because many people had went to jail because of this issue. There is proof of people who are spending time in prison for child molestation just because of the age difference. It is only logical that this problem can be proved with evidence of these cases. Since this is my strongest claim, I am going to make sure I focus my introduction on it and provide enough evidence to support my claim throughout the paper.
- My weakest evidence is my rebuttal to that claim is that teens may run away from home with their older lover if they can't get married to them. I argue that parents need to make sure teens get their education first so they can go the right path. This is my weakest evidence because although parents may try to get their children to do good the teen might not listen. To strengthen this part of my argument, I will try to convince my audience that there's more to life then just marriage.
Friday, November 11, 2011
I analyzed the essay "The $78 Million Bag". In this essay, the writer had a good argument and knew what his purpose was. He made sure his point was made across. However, they had a good argument but didn't back up their claims with enough evidence. They would use numbers and "facts" but didn't cite their sources so it made it harder for the audience to trust them. This taught me that I should always make sure I support my claims with evidence and make sure I cite it because if I don't it doesn't give the reader my trust also it doesn't seem reliable.
Also as I was analyzing "The $78 Million Bag" I noticed that the essay seemed to use a informal tone where they were trying to relate to the audience. However, they should have been formal because it lacks to the audience that they can't presentation their purpose professionally because legalizing marijuana is a serious issue. It was as if the writer was talking to a friend instead of the people of Chicago.This taught me that I should always first debate on if my topic is a serious or non serious problem so I know that I can get my point across that way I want readers to respect me or take me seriously.
Lastly after analyzing this essay, I came to conclusion that the writers used more of their opinion on the issue instead of facts. This is where it went downhill for them because you won't convince an audience what should be done if you don't state facts and support all evidence. It just explains to the audience what you want to be done instead of what should be done. This showed me that I should always make sure I have facts in my paper that have evidence behind it if I want to state an issue that I feel should be fixed.