Assigment #5- Smoking Kills You Faster then Anything Else

Okay so I came across to anti-smoking ads that really caught my eye and I'm having a difficult time choosing one so please let me know which one is more better!

Choice #1

Purpose: The purpose of this as is to show that children of parents who smoke are most luckily to die earlier because of the choice their parents make.  It shows that smoking can cause the death of their children faster than anything else. Also it proves that if parents smoke they are 

Audience: The audience for this ad particularly is meant for parents who smoke that have children.

Genre: This genre of this ad is anti-smoking. It is very similar to other anti-smoking ads it proves their point that smoking can kill anyone in its path.

Tone: The tone of this ad is very serious and sad. Just the text itself explains that “Children of parents who smoke, get to heaven earlier.” The tine is a wakeup call for smoking parents. The dark background shows that the child is an angel in heaven due to the halo above the child’s head. What’s catchy about this ad is that the halo is from the cigarette smoke and shows that, that is what got the child there in the first place. I think the advertisers chose this tone for this particular product because it shows parents that they are risking the lives of their children just because of a choice they make. 

Choice #2

Purpose: The purpose of this ad is to show that guns are not killing people; people are killing themselves by smoking. It shows that one cigarette can ruin your whole life and kill you faster than a bullet itself.

Audience: This ad is meant for anyone that smokes. There are no people included in the ad so it shows that there is no specific age group.

Genre: This genre of this ad is anti-smoking. It is very similar to other anti-smoking ads it proves their point that smoking can kill. Also that people are killing themselves instead because of the choices they make. 

Tone: The tone of this ad is very serious. The dark background shows that the gun is on the table loaded with cigarettes which are supposed to be bullets.  As the gun lays there you can see that it has been fired due to the smoke coming out and the cigarette laying there. It shows that a life was taken and there's more lives at risk. I think the advertisers chose this tone for this particular product because it shows how deadly smoking can be. 

Assignment #4- It's Just Revisions, Not the End of the World

   It's just a first draft not the end of the world! Seriously. Drafts are never perfect especially your first one. But it gives you an opportunity to improve all your mistakes and see how to make it better. I know one fact for sure is that practice makes perfect even if it means you have to write more then one draft. There will be times where you write your first  draft and think its the best thing you ever wrote and then the teacher hands it back and its like a SLAP IN YOUR FACE! It ends up being the worse first draft you ever wrote. True story happened to me but you can't give up and think your a bad writer. Nobody is a bad writer we are each unique by having our own writing styles. So cheer up buddy!

   My final paper looks somewhat different from my first draft. In my first draft I didn't put the outcome of what happened when i submitted my paper to UIC. It left my audience wondering if I ever got accepted. So i decided to fix this by ending my paper with the result of what happened because I know people hate endings that leave them guessing. Right? Well maybe it's me. My final paper is similar to my first draft because I had added so much detail possible when I first wrote it so it was not lacking any details whatsoever. I had reworded some parts and just made it sound better then before. Also I fixed all my mistakes I had.

   I didn't make major revisions to my paper because it all focused on what the topic of story was. The way I organized it was by telling every detail possible of what happened that day and what happened to the paper. Everything was in place for the paper.  

   After revising my paper I learned to catch what my mistakes were. I love revising my papers because I learn what kind of writer I am and what my writing style is. As a writer I tend to go into detail to much sometimes or at times I'll add something that's not really important like something EXTRA. That is something I need to know how to control because when you add something extra to your paper that has nothing to do with your main focus it distracts your audience. 

   Peer review is great for fixing your paper. Peer review guided me to make the revisions I did because my partner was able to point out that I forgot to add the main thing at the end! OMG I can't believe I didn't include it!! Ahh!! But thanks to her I did it!  Also rereading my own paper made me catch all the spelling mistakes I had and details I was lacking. 

   The strongest aspect of my paper has to be the body of the entire essay because it contains much detail possible. It uses metaphors so the audience can visual  exactly how I felt that day. The story goes in order and doesn't leave the reader questioning what happened after? Also it has a humor tone to it so it doesn't sound boring. I don't feel that I had a weak aspect in my paper. The only weak aspect I can say is that it doesn't contain strong vocabulary so it sounds informal but at the same time it's a narrative it isn't suppose to sound formal. Right? Yes I'm right! 

   Rough drafts help you improve as a writer. If you get a bad grade on your first draft it will be okay! It's going to help you improve your paper so you can meet the standards. Remember it's just a first draft! 

Differences Between a C paper And an A paper?!

There is a HUGE difference between an A paper and a C paper. We always want to aim for the A but there are three qualities we need to understand in doing so.
These three qualities are:

1. Structure and organization
2. Focus
3. Grammar   

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1) Structure and organization is highly, I mean highly important!!! You need to have your ideas well organized so it's not all over the paper. Your paper needs to have an introduction, body paragraph and a conclusion.

• Introduction- Introduce your topic with a brief summary on what's your paper about.
• Body paragraph- State and support your ideas
• Conclusion- Wrap up all your ideas with a good ending 

Without organization your paper will not flow from sentence to sentence. If your paper has bad or no structure and organization well you might as well throw that baby in the trash if you think your going to get an A with that! 


2) Your paper needs to focus on your main idea that you are trying to show to your audience. This is where you need to go into detail and really focus on each of the point you are trying to make. 


A C paper example:

• I walked my dog today and got hit with a car. I hate wearing a cast. Great my birthday is coming up. Oh my life sucks. I have school tomorrow. I hate rain.

Now you see how the sentences aren't focus at all, also they are lacking details. Plus it's all over the place!! Now let's see if we can fix this. Now this is an A paper.!

• I was walking my dog today in the cold rain and out of nowhere a truck came speeding down on Kimball street. I was grateful that my dog ran out the way but unfortunately I wasn't lucky. I got hit and now I have to wear a cast for three weeks and my birthday is coming up. Oh my life sucks right now. 

See how the sentences are focused and go into detail on what happened to the person. Remember you need to focus your ideas one by one you cant't just jump from place to place. If you state something important make sure you focus on it instead of getting off subject. So stay on topic!

***OH VERY IMPORTANT NOTE WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR AUDIENCE AND PURPOSE SET FOR YOUR PAPER MAKE SURE TO FOCUS ON THOSE SPECIFIC ITEMS!

3) Proper grammar is needed for an A paper. If your paper has so many spelling mistakes and other grammatical errors it just shows your audience that you didn't take your time to write a good paper. So why should the audience suffer?? Seriously you need to grow up at a point and learn to fix your mistakes!! A little bit harsh right? Well that's life get over it. If your paper has so much grammar mistakes your reader will be more focused on that then your paper. In other words it distracts your reader!

C paper example:

• Do you need anything from the store mom that was the last thing that came out my mouth before that car pulled up right next to me and shot ma brother. Their where three guys in that white van. 

Noticed the mistakes yet? Lets's make changes....
A paper example:
Do you need anything from the store mom? That was the last thing that came out my mouth before a car pulled up right next to me and shot my brother. There were three guys in that white van.

Just make sure you have someone reread your paper to see if they can catch the mistakes you didn't notice. Peer review is your friend!

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The most easiest thing for me is focus because I don't have trouble staying on topic. I always make sure that my sentences flow smoothly together. What I have trouble with sometimes is grammar because I tend to make many mistakes without noticing until someone points it out. But in general I don't have a problem writing a paper I just happen to lack details many times. It's not that hard to write a good paper just makes sure you put work in it.

Assignment #2- Generating Ideas

I may write about my experiences about my high school years of writing papers. Writing papers during high school helped improve my writing skills. It also thought me to put all my thoughts down on paper. There was a specific teacher who I had my senior year that was very strict. She didn't accept anything that didn't meet her standards. I would write a paper thinking it was an A+ paper and would later get it back with so many mistakes and it brought me down a little bit and made me feel like I was a sucky writer. But then she made me realize I had strong arguments but need to know how to break them down. She showed me not to give up and helped me explore my writing skills more. A con might be that I wouldn't have enough details to support the topic.

Another topic I may write about is when I had to write my college statements for UIC and Loyola. It showed me how to write about myself in a descriptive way and in a short summary to describe what I'm about. I usually don't like bragging about myself or in general writing about myself but these college statement essays opened my eyes and showed me I had so much more skills then I realized I did. The one con that might be applied to this topic is that it wouldn't be interesting for the audience.

The last topic I might write about is when I first when to Barnes and Nobles for a field trip. I discovered that their where so many interesting books that caught my attention. I had brought a series I think it was called THE BABYSITTER. It was a scary novel that made me want to keep reading and reading. It was the first time a book really caught my attention. A con can be that it might get boring and my ideas might be all over the place.

How to Become a Better Writer..

     Being a good writer doesn't happen in a day. It takes practice and experience. Don't get me wrong there are people were writing comes naturally to and for others no. As for me I love writing, but it's not a passion it's more of a hobby. I never really have a tough time writing my thoughts on paper, but you can never have too much practice, that's why I decided to enroll in English 101. Well to be honest I was required to take it, but if I wasn't I still would have took it because college writing is somewhat different then high school writing. High school writing doesn't make you focus as much colleges require. For example you can write anything for a high school paper and you can get away with it, but college papers make you put much effort and thought and if you try to write anything professors won't accept work that they can clearly see it's done at the last minute.
     I'm taking this class so I can advance my intelligence and learn to break my thoughts down on paper without stumbling over a sentence. I want to learn to use words that strongly show emotion and have power to make the paper outstanding. Using certain words can make a paper come to life. I would like to gain better writing skills also I want to learn how to communicate on paper well where the reader can relate and understand. A paper speaks to a person and depending how you write your audience can understand where your coming from. I want to learn techniques from other writers that can help me improve.This is something that you can never have to much experience. I know taking this class it will help me become a stronger writer then I was before.